My mind is so quiet now and I love it. It's so easy to forget where I was a week ago - to think that a week ago I was just leaving school is unbelievable. It feels like it's been a month, the way I've changed. I sleep so much more, but voluntarily and not because I'm tired of being awake. It's like I'm finally calm enough to relax and go to sleep at the right time, instead of waiting up until 2 until I'm exhausted. This is so much like being on a vacation, and though I guess it technically is, it's like I've made this vacation in my head at the right time.
I guess I can finally say, at long last, that I'm happy. I haven't overthought something in about, well, a week, which is a really long time for my mind to stay still. I know this feeling isn't going to last, because time progresses and there are always new challenges and atmospheres and such, but one week has been a blur of I don't know what - inner peace, I guess it's called. I used to get mad at myself if I woke up at 11:30 because I'd lost the whole morning to do something. Now I'm just grateful to have been able to get that much sleep. It seems like my mom is harassing me less about all the little things I have to do, even though there are plenty of things I'm slacking on right now and she knows it. Dad got home tonight from a long trip and let me alone about the college stuff, which was slightly unexpected but greatly appreciated.
I guess I should be worried about the fact that I haven't talked to Lauren in a while, because despite popular belief I do want to, and I probably should be worried about the fact that I'm purposely ditching certain people because I'm too high on this weird mental drug of mine to snap out of it. I guess it'll all come hit me at some point and I'll be back to my cynical frustrated ways, but this is nice for a little. I wonder how long I can make it last?
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