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We had a coffehouse event of sorts in the basement of our dorm tonight, and it made me wish I actually had the courage to sing out loud instead of underneath the music. It's just one of those things that I don't want to do yet. Maybe it's a lot like eating shellfish - I have to get over my mental block first. But I'll do it one day. I just have to wait and see when, don't worry.

So we all got screwed for our schedules for next semester. I did in fact wind up with the calc at 8 am four days a week, and an orgo class I didn't want to take because it's one of those subjects where the prof REALLY matters, and my life would be a thousand times easier if I could just stick with the guy I've had so far. I have labs Wednesday and Thursday afternoon, followed by a three hour art studio on Friday afternoon (East Asian Art Studio - don't ask). But at least I have four classes, some people are still stuck with just one. I don't get how you manage to pull that off, but apparently its feasible.

It's crazy that this is one year of college, done already (almost). This show we had in the basement was similar to a talent show we had during orientation in the fall, but it was so fun to see that we actually know one another now. I'm just thinking back to sitting there 9 months ago, meeting some of these kids for the first time and not expecting anything of it. It's absolutely true that I didn't know what to expect, because I don't feel like I was wrong about what I first thought about certain people. I don't mean judging them in a harsh way, because I don't feel like that's what I did. Actually, I'm glad that my first impressions were pretty accurate, because it means I was able to see people the way they were, instead of how I wanted to see them. It was probably the fact that I had no idea what to expect which gained me this openmindedness - without expectations, I was willing to let anything happen.

I don't think I even had expectations of how this year on the whole was going to go. That fateful day, when I read "We are unable to accept you at this time" over and over again, in between my rants of frustration my parents even said, "Well, see how it goes, and if you want to try again next year, you certainly can." And I had an adamant reaction of, "No, I DON'T want to transfer." Well, har har, look where that got me. It makes me feel better, though, thinking that maybe I really did start with an open mind and go where it took me.

Case in point - the weather is beautiful, and I feel like my job here is done. That's a good feeling. And maybe with this trend of optimism, taking rejections won't be as hard the second time around (that's a lie, by the way)...