Irresponsibility

I missed a phone call that I should return, but I really don't feel like it. They'd have left a message if it was important, no? And can always email me if need be. It's the weekend and I'm on vacation and frankly, after reading for an hour or so, I just don't really feel like talking much.

I want to write about this book I'm reading, because the narrator sounds a lot like me. Only it scares me, too, because I don't realy like the idea of ending up where she did in life. I can't put the book down, though, because I just want to know a little more about myself, and somehow reading the words someone else wrote from a fictional voice kind of helps.

I've been really worried lately that I'm just doing this transferring business because I'm afraid of staying in one place too long. I know that's not true, because I have thousands of other reasons to my madness, but that was one reason that I was genuinely afraid of. But lately, I'm wondering if it's really such a bad thing - I don't know if it's one of my reasons or not, but it isn't all that awful. OK, so maybe I don't want to stay in one place too long. Frankly, that's pretty true, because I'm not ready to stop looking around yet. Damn, I should return that phone call. Forget it. And I was wondering, too, why did I spend the past week at home, where I knew I would be bored and probably spend time alone that I didn't really need? I did it because it's home, no matter what it is. It's supposed to be boring once you leave it, because it's the only thing you've known your whole life and doesn't come off all that exciting once you've seen what else is out there.

But, point blank, I still like reading in my bed because of the way the five blankets absorb body warmth and seem to shape to however you want to kick them.

I should return that phone call, but I think I'm going to be irresponsible and not do it. And dinner's ready.