How Much Would It Suck If Your Last Name Was Wordsworth? Words Are Worth Nothing

I've started running to John Mayer lately. Most of his music certainly wouldn't qualify for pump-up music (actually, would any of it?), but what I need from it is how real it is. Something about his music makes it impossible to lie to yourself - you just listen to his lyrics and his talent and wonder what it would be like to be able to put yourself out there so clearly. I guess blogging is an attempt at that, but in no way could 99% of the population reach people like John Mayer does.

I always worried that it was somehow prohibited for us to love his stuff, since he's from our hometown and in a way it makes it less legitimate for us to listen to him. At the same time, though, we're kind of more justified than a lot of people, since he wrote a lot of his stuff while living in our town, driving our streets, eating our food, and going to our school. But then the more you learn about him, the more fascinating he becomes - he seems like one of the most emotionally whole people I've ever heard of, and would probably be intimidated by him in person more for his impossible oneness than for his (albeit amazing) talent.

I just got tired of running to the other music, my regular work out playlist, because it all seems like a sugar-high that doesn't mean anything and won't last much after you take off your sneakers. What I need from music is the way it reaches you like nothing else can, how it can take you away all in your head and make you into someone else. No, sorry, it can't fix your mistakes, but at least it lets you feel them. That's how it is for me at least. And sometimes it can call into your mind things you never wanted to think about at all, but it creates a safe space for thinking and lets you unwind some things that you keep wrapped up so tightly. I wrote once that it can keep you company when you feel like there's nothing and no one left, and I still think that's true. John Mayer said in an interview once that what he loves about performing is looking out into the crowd, seeing all those people singing his songs and being somewhere completely different than him, in places and experienced he may never see. Still, he said, the words he writes are words that so many other people couldn't find on their own, and it's like his job to give them the words they need.

I guess other people need the words more than I do, but it's nice to hear someone else speak them instead of me. In fact, it's more than nice - I think letting him say all the words lets me get them out of my own head, so that I can have some peace and quiet and actually enjoy a run. But they always come back, don't they - what if I'd never learned a language, would I finally have some peace? Then I could live my emotions instead of talking my way out of them. It'd be nice for a change, not splitting myself between what I say and what I feel, but maybe that's just part of human nature that I won't ever be able to change.

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "Think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon