Mental Hypersensitivity

I'm making up a disease. It's called Mental Hypersensitivity. It's what I've got right now. You know how you can have emotional hypersensitivity, when the smallest thing could throw you upside down? Well, this is the same thing, but it's all happening inside my head.

Like right now, I'm listening to some crazy song with all this unsynchronized ringing and it feels so much better than actual words. I'm pretty sure my attention span is shot after this long day - I just wrote an entire post and then deleted it because I didn't like it. I can't stand to listen to words any more, or read them, and I'm quickly getting sick of writing them. No more words!!! I need to excercise a new part of my brain, not the thinking part. The thinking part is turning to rot lately. It's all very repetitive, which is how it has to be, and it's understandable and necessary and it's fine. Except for when I get like this and can't take the words anymore. Just the pushing and pulling of a piano and its chords that sounds kind of off, but in the best way possible. It's nice that it doesn't all match up, because it reminds me of things that don't have one right answer, one right analysis, one right explanation. Answers are overrated, anyway, because all they really are is the end of a thinking process. They're satisfying and fulfilling, but I'm tired of ends. I just want stuff to go on and on and on and never stop because then you don't have to worry about what happens after the ending. That doesn't really make sense, because nothing really ever ends. Well, classes do, and homework problems do, and essays and books and chapters do. Then you have to go back and look at everything, beginning to end, and know all of it and then get asked to remember as much as possible so you can give the right answer on the test. And then after that you stop, because you forget everything you were tested on to make room for the next chapter. And then all of a sudden it's all over, and you have to go back and remember all the stuff you had no choice but to forget before, so you have to stick all those ends and beginnings together to get one mammoth beginning, middle and end. That one's killer.

I think this might be a fatal dose of Mental Hypersensitivity. Hopefully not, though, but I do want it to end, but I don't...