Repetition

Hi Blog, how are you? It's been a while since we chatted. Well, it's been a while since I last spilled my guts while you just listened. I've been doing all this solitary thinking without you, and maybe that's why it's gotten so tangled in my head. It seems that the things I think and the things I do lately don't seem to match up. I'm not really sure why that is, or why I think that is. It's just like whatever I do doesn't seem to have any respect for whatever I think. Not that I'm going against my morals or something, but they just don't logically agree. It's like I'm a completely different person on the inside and outside, yet either way I feel like myself. I also don't though - it's the side of myself that's kind of no fun to be. I feel the need to break away from it and do something spontaneous, something I can't overthink because I didn't know it was coming.

Maybe I should learn something new - I was playing around with my mom's new digital camera today and couldn't seem to put it down. I just kept getting random thoughts, usually something to end this sentence: "What happens if...?" I definitely should appreciate my camera more, even though I've never been big on taking pictures. I always kind of thought that taking pictures is a way of being a bystander and prevents you from actually living in the moment. Plus everyone starts worrying about what they look like and who's going to see the pictures and blah blah blah...

I need to have some fun sometime very soon, because I'm kind of drying up from all the seriousness. There's something about this time of year that calls for an extra dose of excitement - something about the weather. I realized today that I love New England for it's unreliability in weather, even though usually you can expect the worst and quickly have your expectations satisfied. It makes you work extra hard to be happy, because the sun isn't always there. In fact, it seems like it's rarely out for most of the winter. Somehow I have no desire for good weather - my roommate is currently salivating over the fact that it's about 70 degrees and sunny where she is, but personally I think winter weather is supposed to suck. What's the point of it being winter if the weather's going to be good all the time? It makes spring and summer that much better, honestly.

Oh look, another ramble. This was kind of a ramble of an afternoon - I feel like I had a plan at some point, but forgot that I actually had to execute the plan. Now how about that word - how does execute mean "to carry out" and "to chop one's head off"? Well I'm sure Webster's Dictionary puts it more eloquently than that, but really, who came up with that double meaning?

I should go do something productive. Work out, shower, blah blah - it's all a routine. I'm tired of the routine, but what else is there but the routine? Like writing blogs, that's kind of a routine. Eating three times a day, sleeping every night, routine routine routine. Well some of them are necessary bodily rhythms - circadian or whatever type they are - so routine is part of our natural life cycle.

But does it always have to be so repetitive?